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Proverbs 14:10 – The heart knows its own bitterness, and no stranger shares it’s joy.

The words above are true enough. To know someone’s bitterness or joy, we must have more than a cursory acquaintance with them – we must KNOW them.

But the truth is, there are parts of us no other human being will ever truly know the way we might wish. No one can really know us, the way we desire to be known. Human knowledge will always lack in this way.

As a result of not understanding this, many end up running from person to person, partner to partner, relationship to relationship hoping to find someone who will know them truly and deeply.

“My wife doesn’t understand me”, “My husband never really knew me” are the plaintiff cries of those falling headlong into extra-marital affairs. Such are the spoken and often unspoken sentiments of those who have used this reality as an excuse for emotionally distancing themselves from those they’ve vowed before God to “love until death do us part.” All the while, what is being ignored is that we are desperately seeking what no one can give us – by design.

This place, this holy of holies in the human soul is a place God reserves for Himself. The truth is, we cannot have this experience at the depth we desire except in communion with Him. If we put this burden on others, we will either crush them, or frustrate them. And, we will drive ourselves to despair. Worst of all, we commit sacrilege. We are found wanting to substitute the presence of a human soul behind the veil – instead of the Spirit of God. And it cannot be done.

Beloved, do wish to be known? Then begin knowing the One who created you TO be known fully only by Himself, and who desires you to know Him too. What you seek can only be found in Christ, for this is how He made you. You cannot fill your soul with another human being any more than you can fill your gas tank with sand. Don’t blame your spouse for what they were never meant to give. Come to the Fountain, and drink your fill of The Water of Life.

Ephesians 5:11–14 ^“Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. ¹²For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret. ¹³But when anything is exposed by the light, it becomes visible, ¹⁴for anything that becomes visible is light. Therefore it says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ will shine on you.”

Bonhoeffer was right. In times of temptation, the Believer is not as much plagued with an urge to blaspheme God, as with forgetfulness of Him. His immediacy, His presence with us is obscured. In those moments, we sort of shift into automatic, not really thinking as much as acting upon impulse and reflex. Even when we’ve resisted for some time prior to actually caving in; our faculties are in gear, and then – tunnel vision and full speed ahead – the thinking has ended.

But it is precisely when in the moment, in the very throes of temptation that thinking is what we need to do most. To slow down, and get a hold of ourselves, and ask 3 questions that Temptation desperately wants (read our FLESH desperately wants) to keep shoved out of the front of our consciousness. The three questions address three elements which are present in every temptation. This is true whether we are tempted to give in to anger, greed, lust, pride, envy, despair or anything else, you name it.

Here’s what we must stop to ask ourselves:

a. What is the LIE behind this temptation? What does it promise, that once scrutinized, it is clear it cannot deliver? And what is the true end result that it hides.

b. What is the LUST it is promising to satisfy? What is the “hunger” it purports to fulfill? What is it within me this particular temptation resonates with? What precisely is the nature of my own sinful desire here?

c. What is the LOVE which must be violated in order to do this? Love toward the God who saved me? Love toward my neighbor? (read: husband, wife, child, sibling, co-worker, stranger, etc.) Who is it I will have to stop the act of loving in order to take this action or attitude up?

And if we take the time to stop and ask ourselves these 3 simple questions, we will soon find that the temptation looses both its attractiveness and its power. It becomes ugly and sordid. The vileness underneath its mask gets exposed to us. With this exposure, Temptation’s insistent knocking at the door of our desire soon slows, fades and stops. For then. Oh, it will return another day. But before you jump up to answer the door – stop to ask the questions one more time. You’ll be surprised.  

Proverbs 4:23–27 (ESV)

²³ Keep your heart with all vigilance,

for from it flow the springs of life.

²⁴ Put away from you crooked speech,

and put devious talk far from you.

²⁵ Let your eyes look directly forward,

and your gaze be straight before you.

²⁶ Ponder the path of your feet;

then all your ways will be sure.

²⁷ Do not swerve to the right or to the left;

turn your foot away from evil.

Keeping the heart is a call of dire need. The heart of the human being – is the core of life. Of course the organ that pumps blood is not being referred to here – but the organ of the soul that communicates life and purpose and passion to the whole being is intended. It is what the old theologians used to refer to as inward “inclination” – what each of us is inclined toward as the governing direction of our life’s pursuit – the gravitational pull of our inward man. What, when all else is stripped away, drives and motivates us.

The truth is, many of us never even take the time to find out what exactly DOES motivate us above all else. We often flit from thing to thing still looking for an all consuming passion. But in reality, we already have one. It is at the bottom of all the choices we make in life. We simply haven’t identified it yet. For some it is safety. For others, pleasure. Still others seek meaning above all else, or a sense of accomplishment, approval, validation or simply to consume what seems most desirable at the moment.

So how does one then “keep” or guard the heart, so that we are walking in wisdom and in fellowship with God and His eternal plans and purposes? What am I to be “vigilant” over for that to happen – so that the “springs of life” – the fountain of true joy and refreshment and sustenance remain unpolluted by the poisons of the Fall?

Our Teacher points out four things.

1. (24) One must cultivate honesty with themselves, and with others. If we are willing to entertain duplicity – to have secret lives, to live dishonestly with others, we will inevitably be habitual hypocrites. We must be brutally honest with ourselves about our own sinfulness and unwilling to seem better than we are to others – even if that invites rebuke. Passing ourselves off as Mr. or Ms. Altogether-Christian for the public consumption of others will lead us to hide, and at the same time to live in constant judgment of others. If you are constantly avoiding letting people see who you really are, or pointing the finger at other’s sins – this is probably your area of need.

2. (25) We must be actually aimed at the goal of Heaven and Christ’s likeness. If that is not our goal and aim in life – if that is not where we are traveling to in life – then we are headed somewhere else. No one stumbles into Heaven – we go there intentionally or not at all. There will be no accidental tourists there. Those who have no clear destination will wander – emotionally, spiritually and in every other area of life. Are you on your way to meet the King? Are you actually plotting a course there? If not, you will not arrive.

3. (26) We must examine and re-examine our decisions to see if they are commensurate with our stated goal and direction. The heart is distracted and polluted when our decision making practice does not at least include (at SOME point) the question as to how this decision fits with where I am going and who I am becoming in Christ. Countless woes would be avoided if we would ask this of ourselves before we entered into things. How does X fit with my journey to see Jesus? Does it help? Does it hinder? Is it compatible?

4. (27) We cannot move off of the path that the Scripture has given us, and still get there. Isaiah calls it a “highway of holiness.” There is only one way to follow Christ – I must walk the same way He does, I must go WITH Him. And He is not going certain places. He is not heading into sexual immorality. He is not moving toward theft, or lust, or dishonesty, or coveting this world’s goods, or fame or pleasure. He is headed home to His Father. And there but one road there – Him. He Himself IS the truth, the life and the way.

So my friend – where are you off to today? And how will you be getting there?