ResponsiveReiding

In the past several months, I’ve had no less than three notable conversations with friends who have said: “I just can’t forgive myself.” In each case, they have expressed a sense of remaining guilt over past sins and failures. I identify.

I do not know if it is true of all as we grow older, but I can say for myself that I reflect increasingly on the sins of my past. My heart is pricked all over again for things done in my youth, my teens – and well beyond.

Perhaps this experience is a product of having more time for my mind to reflect on life period. Not being as focused on the daily demands of work-a-day employment – things once somewhat ignored push themselves forward. Perhaps it is the Holy Spirit bringing conviction over issues not settled. Or at least not settled well. Maybe it is the enemy of the soul trying to bring condemnation so as to obscure the glory of the cross and sins forgiven in Christ. Perhaps, at my age, it is the norm as one muses on the fact that the majority of this life is already past, and that eternity looms larger and larger on the horizon.

Who knows?

Irrespective of nailing down the specific cause, or an amalgam of several, I know I am not alone. Virtually everyone I know has had moments, when past sins and failures suddenly pierce the heart and mind as though committed – and thus convicted – all over again that very moment. It can trigger sadness, grief, and even despair. Especially when the same crime comes back repeatedly. The regret and sorrow can be overwhelming. The sting can last for days.

In 1st Samuel 25 – Scripture records the incident with David, Abigail and Abigail’s “fool” of a husband, Nabal.

David, fleeing from Saul, found he and his men in the wilderness near Carmel. David knew of Nabal’s wealth. This being the time of sheep-shearing, when there would be feasting and rejoicing – David sent some of his men to ask for some provisions. This was not a naked imposition. While in the wilderness, David and his men had served as an ad hoc guardian force protecting Nabal’s shepherds and flocks from being prey to robbers. But Nabal, a man the text says was “harsh and evil in his dealings” told David’s men to go take a flying leap. He owed them nothing.

David got riled. He was on his way to teach the old curmudgeon a lesson he’d never forget.

Enter Abigail. Beautiful and savvy.

When she heard of the events, she heads off David with a gift of provisions and a plea to ignore her “scoundrel” of a husband. Her petition reads: “When the LORD has done for my lord all the good He promised, and when He has appointed you ruler over Israel, then my lord will have no remorse or guilt of conscience over needless bloodshed and revenge. And when the LORD has dealt well with my lord, may you remember your maidservant.” (1 Sam. 25:30-31)

Now here is wisdom. Here is someone who knows human nature. Don’t do what you know will come back to haunt you later. The days of remorse over guilt will come. Don’t let your action here be among those other accusations. As we well know – David will suffer greatly in this regard in the aftermath of his sins with Bathsheba and the numbering of the people. And who knows how many others?

One wonders how Moses dealt later on with his remembrance of murdering the Egyptian in Ex 2. Or consider Paul, ruminating on those he had persecuted for following Christ. What of Stephen’s stoning and his participation in it? What effect did Paul’s persecutions have not only on those he directly violated, but on their children, their families – and other Christians?

Alexander Whyte queries whether or not Paul’s “thorn in the flesh” was not a conscience tortured at times with these previous sins and their impact on so so many? And how then the only thing which could bring relief was to be brought to the Cross over and over and to trust in God’s grace, which alone is truly sufficient.

I don’t know. But I know none of us is exempt from this phenomenon.

Years ago I was in a conversation with 4 men of God, who in order each told the account of their lives and conversions. Each had done some pretty rough things. There were drug abuse. Alcohol abuse. Sexual promiscuity. Crimes both petty and felonious. And then they met Christ. Lived truly changed and transformed by grace. Now each was a solid family man and churchman. It was exhilarating to hear.

It was then I asked what of their former lives still proved to have the greatest negative impact on their lives today. To a man, the issue was sexual sin and pornography. How the memories, and thus the regrets cannot be fully erased. Several wept. The pain of recollection was so severe. For lack of a better term – their guilt – still plagued them. They struggled to lay full hold upon God’s grace being sufficient for them. I thought of my own sins. I could fully identify even when my particular sins were not precisely as theirs. Believe me, there’s enough sin to go around – period.

But what to do?

How are we to deal with this piercing of the heart afresh? What are we to do when the guilt from those things seems so very fresh? When the heart almost faints to recall it all? When this or that particular event comes back with a vengeance? When we, even as believers in the atoning efficacy of Christ’s death and blood feel condemned all over again? When conscience will grant no relief from its searing hot iron?

In the more familiar way of putting it – how do I forgive myself?

Let me humbly make some suggestions.

But before we go further, let me say that I think the question itself is problematic. For as best as I can tell, the Scripture says nothing about forgiving oneself. Nothing. For I am not the victim of my sins. Others are. God first and in all cases. And other people in most cases. But the problem isn’t that I need to forgive me, for I am neither God, nor others.

So in this discussion, the first principle I must reckon with is:

I am the criminal, not the victim.

I do not need to forgive myself. Forgiveness must be sought elsewhere. I need to get this thought excised from my paradigm. If I stay in this place, I have no hope. For I am trying to do the impossible. It is as useless an inquiry as water asking how it can stop being wet. It is a category error. I am not guilty before me, for I am neither God, the Law, the judge nor others. I am me. The guilty one.

A former sin may repeatedly come to mind, because I’ve never actually dealt fully with those who have been hurt by my sin.

I must examine the issue, to see if there is something yet undone in repentance.

Have I done what I can to make things right with those I’ve hurt? Have I owned my sin to them directly? Have I apologized and asked for forgiveness – and in reference to the specific matter which keeps coming back to mind?

Does my repentance look like 2 Cor. 7:10-11 “Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation without regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. Consider what this godly sorrow has produced in you: what earnestness, what eagerness to clear yourselves, what indignation, what alarm, what longing, what zeal, what vindication! In every way you have proved yourselves to be innocent in this matter.”

If I were to punch you in the nose, I not only need to go God and ask for forgiveness, I also need to come to YOU. So have I moved beyond mere worldly sorrow for my sin – to earnest and eager action to clear the air with the offended? Am I indignant at my own failure? Alarmed at how this wickedness is in me? Longing to turn from the course that led me to that sin? Zealous to seek correction?

Sometimes, we cannot be done with a former sin, because we have never taken the steps to address the one(s) we’ve hurt directly, honestly, and seeking to put the matter to rest. And until we do, this one will resurface. It is the Holy Spirit working in us to settle what is still outstanding.

If this is not the case, if we have done what we can do, then we move on.

It is good to ask how quickly and fully I am willing to forgive others for their sins against me?

Thieves are the first to suspect others of ripping them off. Liars assume others are always lying to them. And unforgiving people tend to think others are holding their sins against them, even when forgiveness has been extended. Even God’s forgiveness is suspect.

Such is the deceitfulness of the human heart.

Beloved, if you find that other’s past sins against you still roil within, you will never be at peace over your own sins being forgiven. You will assign nefarious motives to looks, glances, perceived slights, and even God’s providences. You’ll imagine He is still holding something against you when circumstances go wrong.

If I hold grudges, I will assume others are holding them. God not excepted.

The answer here is to repent of your own unforgiveness. When you turn from your bitterness, you will find sweetness in others. But as long as you hang on to their sins, yours will continue to sting your conscience. This will remain the case until you either repent, or so ignore the problem that you sear your own conscience. At which point, you will live in the perpetual condemnation of all but yourself. You will become a self-justifying judge. Christ will be of no use to you. For you judge all by the standard of self. Tragic.

Having owned my sin, having done what I can to set things right with others, having searched my heart to root out my own unforgiveness – as best as I can – what do I do with those recurring torments now?

Take each painful remembrance as an occasion to rejoice.

Say what?

You did not misunderstand me.

Something to be done at this point, is to take advantage of what God’s providence has allowed in brining this painful memory to the surface again, is to stop and thank God that He is not allowing your heart to grow comfortable with sin. Even old sins.

It is a signal mark of grace that the Holy Spirit continues to keep us from ever justifying or downplaying sin. So take this opportunity to worship. To thank God for His goodness of not giving you over to your sins. To say to Him “YES! This hurts! Thank you that you will not let me think lightly of sin any more. That you will not allow me to just brush off those crimes against your holiness and against others. That your Spirit is still at work in me, convicting me of sin, even as I know I am not condemned by any of it, because I am in Christ.” (Rom. 8:1)

Thank Him for a heart that grieves over sin, rather than justifying it.

Second – we must seize this opportunity to say to our God in Christ: “Thank you for having forgiven me of this already. That in its remembrance, I can look at the Cross and see that it, they, my sin and my guilt, have been fully met in Jesus Christ. That I am free from having to pay the penalty for this, because Christ has already paid the price in my place.”

When the painful, wretched remembrance comes rushing in like a flood – we must raise the standard of the Cross and shout for the victory won there in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus. Hallelujah!

Yes Lord, I see it again. I see my sin in all of its grotesque and hideous dimensions. How glorious then is your redemption in the Beloved that I am forgiven and set free!

At the fresh sight of old sins – turn again to the Cross and see them washed from your record in the blood of the Lamb, and covered with His robe of righteousness. And co-opt this remembrance as your Ebenezer (1 Sam. 7:12) Your monument testifying that “till now the Lord has helped us.”

Stop and say “Wow! You have forgiven me even for this!”

Praise your holy, matchless name!

Recognize the difference between remorse and condemnation.

Remorse for sin is a gift of God. Conviction of sin by the Spirit is a wondrous gift as well. Apart from it, we’d remain in our sin. But condemnation? Condemnation is the conclusion, that having been convicted before God’s judgment bar, I now am simply awaiting the sentence to be carried out. Hope is past. Hope is lost.

But Scripture is clear: “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For in Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set you free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the flesh, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man, as an offering for sin. He thus condemned sin in the flesh, so that the righteous standard of the law might be fulfilled in us, who do not walk according to the flesh but according to the Spirit.” (Rom. 8:1-4)

When the Spirit convicts or convinces us of sin, it is to point us to Christ. It is never to say “It’s over, there is no more hope for you.” Such is condemnation. And condemnation has no place in the life of the Believer who has been justified through faith.

So do not refuse the work of conviction. And do not throw away the gift of remorse that keeps you from getting hard in your sin. But receive both only in view of the Cross. For there, the condemned go free. Praise God!

Grieve your former sins. Freely. Never refuse genuine remorse. God forbid we should ever grow comfortable with our past sins. But God forbid we should ever contemplate them again apart from the light of the glory of God shining in the face of Jesus Christ and His eternal intercession on our behalf.

Remorseful? Yes! Always.

Condemned? Never.

Because of Christ.

Repent of your unbelief.

What unbelief you ask? That all your sin, even this one which rages so fresh in you right now – is met fully in the Cross.

Faith apprehends that work of Jesus done on our behalf on the Cross. We must accept His substitutionary atonement as much as the Father has. In other words, we must believe the Gospel afresh. Or are we so holy that though God can be satisfied with Jesus’ interposition, we cannot? Are we greater than He is? How arrogant! He’s happy with the cross, but it is not sufficient for us?

It is unreasonable to think like this. ““Come now, let us reason together,” says the LORD. “Though your sins are like scarlet, they will be as white as snow; though they are as red as crimson, they will become like wool.” (Isa. 1:18)

This is the life of the Believer – being called over and over and over to trust Christ and His saving work – alone!

And when we “feel” unforgiven, when we have already confessed and repented – we are acting out of unbelief. Rom. 14:23 – “and everything that is not from faith is sin.”

Do I believe the Gospel? “In Him we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace that He lavished on us with all wisdom and understanding.” (Eph. 1:7-8) Do I believe that? Really? Or am I telling God Jesus’ blood is not enough, and that somehow I still need to complete His work by my penance? So stand back and let me whip myself with a razor-sharp conscience until I make up for what Jesus’ blood couldn’t do.

Blasphemy!

At these moments we need to plead for a repentant heart from our unbelief. We need to behold the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world! We need to glory in the Cross.

We need to trust God’s Providence.

And this my friend, may be the hardest thing in this essay. Bear with me.

I don’t know about you, but while I may be able to trust God with His providences in the appointments of the details of my own life narrowly considered – I find it exceedingly difficult to trust Him as much with how my sins may have impacted others, and His providence in their lives too.

This is not to deny our own responsibilities as regards how our sins have affected others. We still bear that. But what it does do, is call us to remember that things are not all about us. That God is working in their lives too. And that part of what He is doing in them, is done through how our failures have impacted them.

Gaining this mindset must have been part and parcel of how Paul dealt with his own guilt over his actions against the Christians. Or how about Acts 12 when Peter is supernaturally released from prison. In vs. 19 we read that the sentries who were guarding him were put to death for letting him escape. Again, the 70,000 who perished because David foolishly numbered the people contrary to God’s command. We could cite a multitude of others.

What we need to grasp here is that just as God uses the acts of others (sinful and not) and their impact on us, so He is at work in those we impact too. We must trust Him, that He is is as good and holy and wise in using our sins in their lives, as He is in using theirs in ours. We must leave those things with Him. Eternity will reveal God’s hand and plans in it all. But the bottom line is, we must trust Him with it.

When I was a very young man, my brother-in-law’s parents ran a farm. I was given to opportunity to stay out there for a few days and experience that farm life. Ivan’s Dad took me out and let me fire my first .22. He took me around to show me farm life. And he let me mow his lawn with his lawn tractor. For a kid from the city, this was unthinkable.

Now I had been warned only to mow the back yard, not the front. Warned sternly mind you. But 1 – I was enjoying the experience so much I didn’t want it to end; and 2 – I wanted to show this good man my gratitude by going above and beyond – and mowing his front yard for him too.

It wasn’t but a few minutes before the reason for his warning took on flesh. Going too close to the stone wall in the front yard, I drove the tractor off the wall, over the stones and dropped down to the next terraced level. Only by God’s grace did the tractor remain upright and not flip over on top of me – injuring or maybe even killing me. I was terrified.

Ivan’s Dad heard the calamity – came running, and seeing I was fine gave me the tongue lashing I deserved. I had not only disobeyed, I had done severe damage to the mower.

Fast forward 10 or more years, several times that incident came painfully to mind. It pained me to recall I had betrayed the good man’s trust, AND, in the process, had cost him a pretty penny for repairs to the mower and the stone wall. I knew he had forgiven me. He had said so. But there was unfinished business.

Having a job now, I determined to contact Mr. Kellogg and offer these many years later to reimburse him for the damage I had done. I put it off for a bit, and then prepared to make the call. A few days just before I was to call him, I received the news. He had passed away. And I was stricken. I had no way now to put right what I had hoped. And I grieved.

It was many years later, when contemplating this entire subject for myself, that it dawned on me. The day will come when dear Mr. Kellogg and I will meet again. He was a Believer too. We’ll gather around Christ’s throne one day. I’ll know the truth that having been in God’s presence, the last thing ever to enter his mind will be my foolishness and what it cost him. He won’t care a wit that I never compensated him. And he will be able to tell me how it was God used that incident in his life, as I share how God used it in mine. We will rejoice together, and weep together at the goodness, wisdom and wonder of our God in Christ. My mind, can be at rest. In Christ, it is finished. Even things like this.

You and I have sinned in our lives. Against our God, and against people. People have sinned against us. God has worked in us through their sins against us, and vice versa. Neither of us can forgive ourselves. We can forgive each other. We can believe the Gospel of God’s forgiveness in Christ. We can repent and repair where we can. We can rejoice that we stand in a whole new place in relation to our sins – and how graced we are to abhor and recoil from them. Sins old and sins new. We can rest in the finished work of the Redeemer. We can trust Him to work in our lives and the lives of others – at every point of intersection.

We can glory in the fathomless wonder of our great God and King.

Let us worship.

All of us who endeavor to preach and teach at all, have the God-given and deep desire to see genuine fruit from our labors. After all, the Gospel IS the “power of God” to all who believe. And how we long for the lost to believe unto salvation, and our brothers and sisters to believe unto growth in Christ’s image. Indeed, if those are not our most basic desires in ministry, we have no business being in ministry at all.

Many of us can recall hearing of George Whitefield’s famous plea: “O Lord, give me souls, or take my soul!” Or that well remembered prayer of John Hyde: ” “O God, give me souls or I die.” May that be the heart-cry of each of us who endeavor to break The Bread of Life to our hearers.

At the same time, we are wont to consider the ministries of some of the greats like Whitefield and Spurgeon and Baxter and Wesley and long for similar results in terms of the sheer number of converts. We can ask “why not here? Why not now?” as we labor preaching the same Bible, the same Gospel, bathed in the same prayer to the same God.

Who knows if there may be something in us which mysteriously prevents it? soul searching is always good. But it is not the end all. Perhaps we question our “call.” Maybe we look at the culture, the region, the lack of prayer support from others, general spiritual torpidity or some other cause to lay blame at the feet of. And maybe, just maybe, if we have asked the Lord to search our hearts for any obstacle and come up empty – we need to trust the Providence of God. Trusting Him so, even as we continue to plead for His blessing on our ministrations.

And then we need too to consider the ministries of those who have gone before without the great successes of others. Men equally called as the great revivalists. Equally gifted. Equally earnest and consecrated. Men like Jeremah who is told at the very outset of his ministry that he is going to be resisted every step of the way. Or consider our man Noah.

This man of God -a preacher of righteousness for no less than 120 years. And then consider this from Charels Simeon: “Amongst us, the Gospel, though generally, is not universally, despised: some are brought to listen to its benign overtures: but to such a degree did the contemporaries of Noah harden themselves against the gracious messages of Heaven, that in that whole space of time there was not (as far as we know) one single person awakened to a sense of his guilt and danger.]” ^{Charles Simeon, Horae Homileticae: Genesis to Leviticus (London: Samuel Holdsworth, 1836), 72.}

Take heart my brother. Don’t stop preaching. Don’t stop teaching, exhorting, pleading, praying, and laboring to make the Word of God known as best you can. Keep at the work no matter what. You may only be sowing in Christ’s field today. Perhaps only watering what someone else has sown long ago. Maybe your preaching in all of its tearful insistence still only reveals the hardness of those around you as did Noah’s. We do not know the secret providences of our great God and King. But we DO know His mandate: “And He said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature.” Mark 16:15

Be His herald. Fulfill your work. Preach His Word. Plead for His blessing. Be faithful. And in due time, you will see what He has chosen to do with it all, and how it fits into His eternal plans and purposes. Nothing done for His glory by His means is without its reward.

Preach on!

We read words like these in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians, and it behooves us to try and suss out what they really mean. Why?

1 – So that we can know our true condition outside of Christ.

2 – So that we can properly marvel at the miracle of salvation – it is nothing less than being raised from the dead.

Hear the words of old J.C. Ryle as he opens this description of being “dead.” For it is not merely a euphemism. And its signs are not what some religionists might make it to be. Ryle writes: “[W]hen a man’s heart is cold and unconcerned about religion,—when his hands are never employed in doing God’s work,—when his feet are not familiar with God’s ways,—when his tongue is seldom or never used in prayer and praise,—when his ears are deaf to the voice of Christ in the Gospel,—when his eyes are blind to the beauty of the kingdom of heaven,—when his mind is full of the world, and has no room for spiritual things,—when these marks are to be found in a man, the word of the Bible is the right word to use about him, and that word is “dead.” _{J. C. Ryle, Living or Dead? A Series of Home Truths (New York: Robert Carter & Brothers, 1851), 10.}

If you recognize yourself here, then let me share the good news of the Gospel of Jesus Christ. In His sovereign love, mercy and grace – He has undertaken the only remedy for your condition – faith in the substitutionary atonement for sin on the Cross of Calvary.

There, on that hill that day in Jerusalem, the incarnate Son of God willingly stood as a substitute for fallen men. He willingly allowed the God and judge of the universe, to place the guilt and shame of humanity on Himself. There, He suffered and died. He was buried. And on the 3rd day, He rose again. And so the Scripture records that “the wages of the worker are not credited as a gift, but as an obligation. However, to the one who does not work, but believes in Him who justifies the wicked, his faith is credited as righteousness. And David speaks likewise of the blessedness of the man to whom God credits righteousness apart from works: “Blessed are they whose lawless acts are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the man whose sin the Lord will never count against him.” (Rom. 4:4-8)

Bow before Him today. Acknowledge your sin and rebellion against Him. Plead for His mercy. And place your trust in Jesus’ death as your only means to be reconciled to the Father – and born again out of death – into new life in Christ.

And Believer, take this moment to reflect once more upon how it is you are alive in Christ Jesus today. Marvel at the miracle of grace that has been bestowed upon you. How one day, Jesus stood by your spiritual graveside as truly as He did Lazarus’ physical tomb. And there, in sovereign glory He spoke your name and cried “Come out.”

Glory!

Gracious Heavenly Father, as I come to you today the sins of my youth are brought to remembrance. How, even as a confessed Believer from an early age – I was not the godly child I ought to have been for many years. And how thankful I am today both for your forgiveness and for the godly parents you gave me who in patience and prayer labored through my obstreperous nature, and to faithfully display and impress your Gospel and goodness to me. What an inestimable gift.

In like kind Father – as a father myself I am conscious of how I failed in that roll, but how in all overcoming grace, you still wrought in my daughter’s heart and mind to bring her to yourself. And how she has grown into the godly, faithful and loving wife and mother she has become. THANK YOU!

So too now I pray that as a grandfather I might not provoke these dear and tender souls to wrath in any way, ever, but instead contribute what I can to their being brought up in your discipline and instruction. Make them fully your own in all their years and generations (as long as Christ should tarry) – that this line may never lack and unbroken chain of offspring who seek to know and love you with all their heart, mind soul and strength – and to both revel in and live and preach your Gospel in any walk your Providence deems best fit for your glory and their good. Make them fully your own in every way in Christ.

In any capacity where I might find myself under the employ, service or authority of others – let me serve in sincerity of heart as I would obey Christ – and not just to please them when being observed. Let me always do your will in those places from a willing heart with good will and not as unto men only – but as unto you. Whether I serve or oversee – each of us will receive what is proper given our station without partiality from your hand. And when I am in a position of power or authority, let me exercise my office without threats or heavy-handedness. Let me do so knowing full well that both they and I se4rve you equally – and that you will deal with us both with no favoritism whatever. Keep me humble.

Father, teach me by your Spirit how to appropriate all of your provisions in the spiritual warfare against the world, the flesh and the devil and all of the enemy’s agents and machinations. Help me to stand firm for your kingdom and glory.

Keep me always in the truth as it is in Christ, surrounding and securing me like a belt.

Keep my heart safe in the breastplate of righteousness.

Help me to stand steadfast and secure on the truth and safety of your Gospel.

Grant faith in trusting your perfect, holy character and Word so as to be fully protected from the enemy’s fiery darts.

Let me mind be always that of a redeemed man, never straying from the realities of Christ. ]

And help me to take your Word carefully and skillfully – for it is the very revelation of yourself in Christ Jesus.

Let your Spirit of prayer become my very breath at all times and in all places; in my heart, audibly, in private, with the saints, in pleadings, praises, thanksgivings and in seeking communion with you.

Grant me a watchful heart in prayer for my brothers and sisters in Christ in all they face – and for the souls of those in my orbit who do not yet know your saving grace.

And give me Gospel boldness and ability to share, preach and proclaim your Gospel – seizing upon every opportuniy to do so as is only fitting to glorify you.

In Christ’s precious name – Amen.

Heavenly Father, as Paul, who at that time was a literal prisoner in the Lord urged his readers by The Spirit – grant that I would truly walk in a manner worthy of the calling I have received. Work in me humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with others in love, and with diligence to preserve the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace.

Help me Father to live ever mindful that there is one body and one Spirit, one hope to which I was called; serving you the one Lord, in one faith, by one baptism; looking to you, the one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.

Help me to grasp what it means not only to each one of us – but to me personally – that grace has been given according to the measure of the gift of Christ. This is why your Word says: “When He ascended on high, He led captives away, and gave gifts to men.” What does Jesus “ascended” mean, except that He also descended to this earth? He who descended is the very One who ascended above all the heavens, in order to fill all things. And it was He who gave some to be apostles, some to be prophets, some to be evangelists, and some to be pastors and teachers, to equip the saints for works of ministry and to build up the body of Christ, until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God, as we mature to the full measure of the stature of Christ.

Let me take full advantage of all these gifts you have given us in Christ, so that I will no longer be an immature infant, tossed about by the waves and carried around by every wind of teaching and by the clever cunning of men in their deceitful scheming. Grant me lips so that I always speak the truth in love, so that I may in all things grow up into Christ Himself, who is the head. From Him the whole body, fitted and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love through the work of each individual part.

So work in my heart by your Spirit that I no longer walk as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. They (as I once was) are darkened in their understanding and alienated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardness of their hearts. Having lost all sense of shame, they have given themselves over to sensuality for the practice of every kind of impurity, with a craving for more.

But this is not the way I came to know Christ. I have heard of Him by your grace, and was taught in Him—let me keep with the truth that is in Jesus— to put off completely my former way of life, my old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; and let me be renewed in the spirit of my mind; and put on the new self, created to be like you in true righteousness and holiness.

I plead Father, empower me to put off falsehood and speak truthfully to my neighbors in Christ, recognizing we are all members of one another. Teach me how to “Be angry, yet do not sin.” To not let the sun set upon my anger, to never let it be the last word so that I do not give the devil a foothold. Keep me from a covetous, thieving heart, and to steal no longer, but work, doing good with my own hands, that I may have something to share with those in need. Let no unwholesome talk come out of my mouth, but only what is helpful for building up others in need and bringing grace to those who listen. Keep me from grieving your Holy Spirit, in whom I was sealed for the day of redemption. Work in me to get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, outcry and slander, along with every form of malice. Give me a kind heart, tenderhearted to one another, and a lavishly generous and forgiving spirit, just as in Christ you have forgiven me.

For Jesus’ sake I pray – Amen.

Heavenly Father, I thank you for one like the Apostle Paul, who was a prisoner of Christ Jesus for the sake of Gentiles like me. I have heard about the stewardship of God’s grace that was given to him for the likes of me, that is, the mystery you made known to him by revelation, as you have reiterated in your Word. In reading these truths, you have enabled the lowest believer like myself to understand Paul’s own insight into the mystery of Christ, which was not made known to men in other generations as it has now been revealed by the Spirit to your holy apostles and prophets. This mystery that through the gospel even Gentiles like me are made fellow heirs, fellow members of the body, and fellow partakers of the promise in Christ Jesus.

Paul became a servant of this gospel by the gift of God’s grace, given to him through the working of your power. And though he was less than the least of all the saints, this grace was given to him: to preach to the likes of me, the unsearchable riches of Christ, and to illuminate for everyone the stewardship of this mystery, which for ages past was kept hidden in you, who created all things.

Wonder upon wonder upon wonder!

Help me to grasp this Father; your purpose was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, according to the eternal purpose that you accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Help me top grasp such a cosmic reality.

In Christ and through faith in Him you have allowed me to enter your presence with boldness and confidence. No wonder then Paul could ask his original readers not to be discouraged because of his sufferings for them, and by extension us, which are our glory. Seeing what things you have wrought in Christ for us, for me, makes all suffering and discomfort for the Gospel fade into the darkest night.

And so, given all this Father, with Paul and the rest of the saints, for this reason I bow my knees before you Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I too ask that out of the riches of your glory you may strengthen me with power through your Spirit in my inner being, so that Christ may dwell in my heart through faith. Then, being rooted and grounded in love, I would have power, together with all the saints, to comprehend the length and width and height and depth of the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge, that I may be filled with all your own fullness.

Now to you who are able to do so much more than all I can ask or even imagine, according to your power that is at work within me, to you be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.

Amen.

And now Father, how can I possibly praise and thank you sufficiently when I consider that I was once dead in my trespasses and sins, in which I used to walk when I was conformed to the ways of this world and of the ruler of the power of the air, the spirit who is now at work in the sons of disobedience? I and all of my brothers and sister also lived among them at one time, fulfilling the cravings of our flesh and indulging its desires and thoughts. Like the rest, we were by nature children of wrath. But because of your great love for us, you Father, who is rich in mercy, made us, made ME alive with Christ even when I was dead in my trespasses.

It is by your grace that I have been saved!

And you raised me up with Christ and seated me with Him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages you might display the surpassing riches of your grace, demonstrated by your kindness to me in Christ Jesus.

Again! It is by grace I have been saved through faith, and this is not from myself; it is your gift, not by works, so that I cannot possibly boast.

Father, I am your workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which you prepared in advance as my way of life. Therefore I need to constantly remember that formerly, I who am a Gentile in the flesh and called uncircumcised by the so-called circumcision (that done in the body by human hands)— I need to remember that at that time I was separate from Christ, alienated from the commonwealth of Israel, and a total stranger to the covenants of the promise, without hope and without you in the world.

But now in Christ Jesus I and those like me who once were far away have been brought near through the blood of Christ. For He Himself is our peace, who has made the two one and has torn down the dividing wall of hostility by abolishing in His flesh the law of commandments and decrees.

Hallelujah!

Jesus did this to create in Himself one new man out of the two, thus making peace and reconciling both of us to yourself in one body through the cross, by which He extinguished our hostility.

Jesus Christ came and preached peace to me who was far away and peace to those who were near. For through Him we both have access to you Father by one Spirit. Therefore I am no longer a stranger and foreigner, but a fellow citizen with the saints and a member of your own household, built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus Himself as the cornerstone.

I can see now that in Christ the whole building is fitted together and grows into a holy temple in the you. And in Him I too am being built together with all the other believers into a dwelling place for you in His Spirit.

Heavenly Father, words cannot express the wonder of such grace. Glory to your everlasting name!

Ephesians 1 – Blessed be you God, Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. You have blessed me in Christ with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms. For you chose me in Him before the foundation of the world to be holy and blameless in your presence. In love you predestined me for adoption as your son through Jesus Christ, according to the good pleasure of your will, Oh! praise your glorious grace, which you have freely given me in the Beloved One.

In Jesus I have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of my trespasses, according to the riches of your grace that you lavished on me with all wisdom and understanding. And you have made known to me and to all in Christ the mystery of your will according to your good pleasure, which you purposed in Christ as a plan for the fullness of time, to bring all things in heaven and on earth together in Christ.

In Jesus I was also chosen as your own, having been predestined according to your plan; you who works out everything by the counsel of your will; in order that I, who am now among those who were the first to hope in Christ, would be for the praise of your glory.

And in Christ, having heard and believed the word of truth—the gospel of my salvation—you sealed me with the promised Holy Spirit, who is the pledge of all the Believer’s inheritance until the redemption of all we who are your possession, to the praise of your glory.

For this reason, even those like Paul before me ever since he heard about the faith of Believers in the Lord Jesus and our love for all the saints, he had not stopped giving thanks for the Believers, remembering them in his prayers, that you, the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, would give us a spirit of wisdom and revelation in our knowledge of Christ.

Paul asked, and I do now, that the eyes of my heart  may be enlightened, so that I may know the hope of your calling, the riches of your glorious inheritance in the saints, and the surpassing greatness of your power to us who believe. These are in accordance with the working of your mighty strength, which you exerted in Christ when you raised Him from the dead and seated Him at your own right hand in the heavenly realms, far above all rule and authority, power and dominion, and every name that is named, not only in the present age but also in the one to come.

And you Father, put everything under Jesus’ feet and made Him head over everything for the church, which is His body, the fullness of you who fills all in all.