From Matthew 19:10-12 / The Non-Sin of Singleness

A key to understanding this short section has to do with prevailing Jewish thought on two fronts.

First off, we have to note that divorce had become fairly rampant in society. No doubt there are several contributing factors. Being that the Jews were under Roman occupation for quite some time, the permissiveness of Roman culture in this regarding divorce and remarriage, certainly had an impact on the general populace. They were used to seeing this behavior in their own leadership.

Herod the Great was the King of Judea (a Jew but under the Roman power) was in power when Jesus was born. He had 10 wives total. Some murdered, some divorced. But getting out of one marriage into another was a way of life. He considered himself a pious Jew. After all, it was he who built the magnificent Temple in Jerusalem where Jesus went frequently. And it was his son Herod Antipas who divorced his first wife to marry the wife of his half-brother – Herodias – who had John the Baptizer also murdered.

So divorce and remarriage couldn’t be all that bad could it? Since the Jewish political leaders were fine with it, why not everybody?

The second factor was that it was considered a duty for a Jewish man to be married. One commentator noted that is a young man reached the age of 16 and had no marriage prospects locked in, the elders of the Synagogue might call him in and find out what the matter was.

In that kind of an environment, if a man in fact did get divorced, it would be shameful to remain single.

Now you can see why the Disciples were a bit incredulous at Jesus’ statements. If a man can only divorce and then remarry under such narrow parameters, maybe it is best not to get married at all!

“But” Jesus says, singleness is not something to be entered into any less seriously than marriage. And here, He breaks with both major Jewish schools, and with a prominent sub-sect – the Essenes, who connected celibacy with a higher spiritual state. Once again, He doesn’t make anyone happy on any side of the equation. He neither condemns nor pushes singleness. What He does do is call each to live righteously before God, given our freedoms, and providential parameters.

Providentially, there may be some who are born in a condition (physically) where fulfilling the requirements of marital intimacy would not be possible. In such a case, there is a forced singleness. It would be the responsibility for such a one to live within those parameters righteously before God. And no doubt, special grace is extended to such as they seek how to live well before the Father.

Second, there may be those who through accident (perhaps in war) or more likely, by virtue of having been castrated as slaves, in order to serve in court positions to attend royal women – would too find that Providence had precluded marriage as an option. They too would need to seek for grace to remain pure in such forced singleness. Under this umbrella, one might consider a spouse who has become impotent or unable due to disease, accident or some other condition. This form of “singleness” (in this one regard) would require special grace.

And third, there are some who have been given a gift of not needing marital intimacy, and are able then to devote extra time and effort to serving the Kingdom. They have received another kind of special grace.

When all is said and done, Jesus’ teaching leaves us here:

1 – The norm is marriage, and marriage for life. Let us seek to serve Him within the bounds lovingly and wisely set for such a union. Seeking sexual satisfaction from anyone else other than one’s spouse, is grave sin.

2 – Some remain single for various reasons. There is no shame in not being married. And for some, an actual advantage.

3 – In both – we seek grace from the Lord to live righteously within the limits of His Providence. And He gives it. Let each receive as they are enabled. No providence excuses sin. Each context will find us needing to depend fully upon Him.

Contentment with God’s Providences is one of the most difficult spiritual lessons the Christian needs to learn.

But how gracious He is to provide for us in the gift of His indwelling Spirit.