Mother’s up in Heaven now

And one wonders what its like

Do you get to drive a car up there?

Cut your hair, or ride a bike?

 

Is there anything like bar-b-que?

Chocolate milkshakes or french fries?

Baseball games or tournaments?

Or coconut cream pies?

 

Are we still required to brush our teeth?

Will the lawns need mowed each week?

In the presence of omniscience

Will kids still play hide and seek?

 

Who picks up the garbage there?

Are there sewers ‘neath the streets?

Is there cable? Maybe movies?

Will we organize retreats?

 

Will the angels tell us stories?

Will the cherubim sing songs?

Are there pockets in our white robes?

Hostess Ho-Hos or Ding Dongs?

 

Will we still need our alarm clocks?

Take vacations time to time?

Are there shoes or boots or sandals?

Will snails still leave trails of slime?

 

These are the things I think about

When darkness hides the day

When thoughts of Heaven flood my mind

And carry me away

 

But – There ARE some things I know for sure

Because my Mother’s there

She’s been making her suggestions

With the utmost thought and care

 

No one  at a banquet there

St. Peter not excluded

Can take a seat till Mother says

Let no one be deluded

 

There’s macaroni salad there

The kind that Mother makes

That means for sure there’s Hellman’s there

And whatever else that takes

 

I know that there is Juicy Fruit

E’en there in Heaven’s door

Because I’m sure she took her purse

And its FULL with earthly store

 

I know that there are Goldfish

Cuz’ even Zion needs its crackers

And Mom will turn the Heavenly host

Into full fledged Heav’nly snackers

 

Baggies of every size and shape

Will be bountifully supplied

So that every feast will end

With all leftovers bagged and tied

 

And there’s Christmas decorations

Strung from clouds both high and low

And piles and piles of coupons

Tho where to use them no one knows

 

Yes Heaven’s been a different place

Since the time my Mom’s been there

No doubt its been the first time that

There’s ever been a scare

 

Last, I think about the joy I’ll have

To see her face with glory lit

When she’ll greet me at my coming Home

And she can tell me where to sit.