“Yet all this is worth nothing to me, so long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.” Es 5:13.

Haman was anything but an admirable character. Elevated to 2nd in the Kingdom of Persia under Ahasuerus, the mere fact that one exiled Jew wouldn’t show him the deference he thought was owing to him – found that deprivation – as our text says: “worth nothing…as long as I see Mordecai the Jew sitting at the king’s gate.”

And I am forced to stop and ask:

What is it, that when I consider all the riches and glories that are mine because of Christ – I remain dissatisfied without?

Note how it is Haman first recounts all that is his: Riches; Family; Standing; Honors; Power. And still he can say, “all of this is worth nothing to me, so long as…”

Heavenly Father – forgive me for having anything of the spirit of Haman in my own breast. You tell me that I have received the riches of your kindness, forbearance and patience in Christ, leading me to repentance and salvation (Rom. 2:4); The riches of Christ’s glory as a vessel of mercy (Rom. 9:23) and the riches of Christ Himself for all who call upon Him (Rom. 10:12)

And what a family I have been both adopted and born into: “to all who did receive him, who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God, who were born, not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God.” (John 1:12-13); “See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God.” (1 John 2:8); And “beloved, we are God’s children now, and what we will be has not yet appeared; but we know that when He appears we shall be like Him, because we shall see Him as He is.” (1 John 3:2).

What a standing I have before you Father: with a faith which brings an equal standing before you as the very Apostles themselves (2 Pet. 1:1); all we who were dead in our trespasses and sins, have been raised from the dead and raised up with Christ – so as to be seated with Him in the heavenly places! (Eph. 2:1-7).

What unspeakable honors you have bestowed upon us – that we will one day rule and reign with Christ – “Blessed and holy is the one who shares in the first resurrection! Over such the second death has no power, but they will be priests of God and of Christ, and they will reign with him for a thousand years.” (Rev. 20:7).

And what power – through Christ, free access to you Father – Creator of and Lord over all things (Eph. 2:18); and not just access, but that with boldness and confidence (Eph. 3:12).

And still I find it somehow reasonable to treat all of this as though it were nothing – just like Haman, because someone slights me? Because some supposed or perceived “right” is infringed upon? Because I am denied some earthly pleasure or desire? Or my situation isn’t just as I would prefer, or I am subject to some temporary loss, un-comfortableness; have a denied or delayed preference etc? Father! Forgive my blasphemous ingratitude, self-centeredness and sinful perspective.

Teach my heart to cherish anew each and every hour the wonders, glories, and astounding riches that are all mine in Christ Jesus. And to count with Paul everything this world may have to offer but rubbish in comparison. Fill my heart with Christ and Him crucified.