SEXUAL BONDAGE


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Sexual sin is a monster. A perennial hunter of men’s souls that destroys families, individuals and their entire lives. Unchecked, it so ravishes the being as to make normal thought processes impossible. The mildest and meekest of men inwardly can be licentious, ravening wolves, with seldom a single pure thought about a woman – from their own wives and children to the kindly grandmother next door. And if you think I’m exaggerating, you look at the statistics.

Sexual sin is a monster. A perennial hunter of men’s souls that destroys families, individuals and their entire lives. Unchecked, it so ravishes the being as to make normal thought processes impossible. The mildest and meekest of men inwardly can be licentious, ravening wolves, with seldom a single pure thought about a woman – from their own wives and children to the kindly grandmother next door. And if you think I’m exaggerating, you look at the statistics.

One secular web site trying to fight the tide notes: “Don’t look now but pornography addiction is on the rise and isn’t going to go away anytime soon. According to recent statistics twenty-five percent of all search engine requests are pornography related (Internet Pornography Statistics, 2003). In fact, it is estimated that roughly 72 million Internet users visit pornography websites each year (Pornography Statistics, 2003). The implications for such high levels of pornography involvement have yet to be socially examined. However, as a marriage and family therapist, my private practice has seen a tremendous increase in number of pornography related cases. I am seeing the devastating effects that pornography addiction has on adolescents, young adults, couples, and families.”

This is nothing less than the outworking of Romans 1, and the fact that all of us are sinners, means all of us are infected. Even the most devout of Christian men and women have to battle the remnants of indwelling sin. And to that end I want to offer some encouragement, and a very brief – but Biblical strategy for gaining liberty against this dreadful bondage.

OK, now I am going to be really concise here, so the passages mentioned and the ideas expressed are ones you will have to work through in detail for yourselves, but I waned to get something into your hands that is comprehensible, but easy to master in its basic concepts. Ready?

And please note – I am assuming you are born again here. If you do not know Christ as your Savior – then friend you have no guarantee of any help, success or freedom, even if you CAN stop the outward behavior. You must first recognize your bondage to sin and your rebellious guilt against God’s right to rule your life. You must see clearly that you deserve the punishment Jesus suffered at Calvary because you have violated God’s Law, and spurned His holiness. And you must trust Him, to have suffered in your place, and as the sole means of your being accepted by God and reconciled to Him. Give Him your life. Cry out for His mercy and the forgiveness of sins based only upon Christ’s sacrifice on the cross, and ask to be born again of His Spirit that you might have eternal life – and be filled with His Spirit who alone can break the power of sin over your life.

OK – on to the primer.

1. FACTS: Two facts you need right up front to help you in the battle are:

a. You cannot KILL sin. Scripture calls us to mortify the DEEDS of the flesh, but
sin in this life doesn’t go away – Rom. 8:13 You will ALWAYS be temptable. Not always as susceptible to failure, but never free from the attacks of the enemy. So if you are trying to achieve some supposed state of spirituality where you just won’t ever be tempted again, you are trying to achieve something you cannot have until the resurrection. So don’t fight the battle you can’t win, fight the one that by God’s grace you CAN.

b. God has every intention of seeing you free from this bondage, and so you can always be assured of divine assistance as long as you remain engaged in the battle. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.” Since this is God’s will for you, you need never fear that He has secretly designed to leave you bound. That is a lie of the Devil and a deception from your own heart trying to justify your continuing in your sin. This is God’s battle too. We raise the sword so to speak, but He alone can give the victory. And He WANTS to give you the victory. Never doubt it.

2. FLIGHT: “Flee youthful lusts” Paul counsels Timothy in 2 Tim. 2:22. We might drop the L here and just say FIGHT as well. Capitulation is absolute and certain defeat. And that means you are going to have to be willing to RUN in the face of temptation. The classic example of this is in Gen. 39 with Joseph. But what this means for you is – there are going to be TV shows you can’t watch, movies you can’t see, books you can read, magazines you can’t pick up, web sites you can visit, and some people you can’t hang around. You can’t flee exposure to everything, but that is no excuse for not fleeing exposure to the things you can. Luther said you can’t keep the birds from flying over your head, but you CAN stop them from building a nest in your hair. Avoid the people, places and things that you know excite those feelings within you. This is NOT dishonorable. The enemy will argue that way and your ego will reinforce the argument. Too bad. Paul escaped Damascus in basket and Jesus told His disciples “when they persecute you in one city, flee to another” (Matt. 10:23). Don’t be too proud to run, or you’ll just be proud slave instead of a humble freeman.

3. FOCUS: The mind must be trained to think on things that are righteous and holy and good, and to refuse the ribald, risqué and sexually oriented. Paul writes in Philip. 4: 8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” When the mind is not reigned in, and instead has permission to wander about and contemplate anything it desires, it will gravitate lower and lower unless lifted up by being set upon higher and loftier things. Self-control is a fruit of the Spirit. Ask Him for it often. Daily Bible reading, Godly conversation, meditation on the great and glorious themes of Scripture – especially of God and Christ Himself soon become a relish that make the tawdry allurements of sex outside of God’s parameters appear as ugly and unappealing as they truly are when unmasked.

4. FRIENDS: You MUST enlist the aid of one or more friends. Sin driven underground is sin unchallenged and dealt with. One of the surest ways to remain enslaved is to keep your struggle secret. Psalm 32:3 For when I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy upon me; my strength was dried up as by the heat of summer. Selah. 5 I acknowledged my sin to you, and I did not cover my iniquity; I said, “I will confess my transgressions to the LORD,” and you forgave the iniquity of my sin. Selah.” Recognize those dreadful feelings? David knew them when he was still hiding his sin with Bathsheba from himself, God and others. But he confessed. And when he did – not only to God, but before the whole court – when he cried out: “I have sinned” (2 Sam. 12:13), he found forgiveness, deliverance and recovered help from others. You need accountability – others who will ask you the tough questions about your purity regularly; encouragement; prayer and instruction. No man fights any war alone, unless he intends to lose. This is war – and you need allies.

5. FAITH: You get no support from anything you don’t lean on. If you want God’s
strength to hold you up – and ONLY His strength CAN hold you up – then you need to be relying upon Him by running to Him in prayer CONSTANTLY. Don’t buy the world’s lies that you mutter some pious words a couple of times a day in some dead ritual and pretend its magic. Pray is you calling out to God over and over again – 1000 times an hour if needed – for the purity and holiness and deliverance that only He can give. Every time one of those thoughts comes into your brain – you’re saying to Him inwardly “Father, I am helpless here, I fall for certain if you do not sustain me – please give me your holiness and purity.” Conscious, constant, deliberate dependence upon the Holy Spirit. Absolutely nothing less will do. You will have to learn how to converse with Him and cry out for His deliverance and intervention in all places at all times and in all circumstances. And no matter what ever wonderful measures you put into place – if you do not look to Him for this righteousness to be wrought out in you – you WILL fail. Learn to pray as Scripture says – “without ceasing – with the frequency of a hacking cough. Believing He can and WILL answer.

6. FILLING: Weight Watcher’s tells people to never go grocery shopping on an empty stomach. The logic is both simple, and Biblical (though I doubt they knew that). In the Garden, God not only tells Adam and Eve NOT to eat of the Tree of the knowledge of good and evil, but “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden” (Gen. 2:16). “Surely” is “devour, consume”, not just taste. The point is obvious, when you are full and satisfied with what you OUGHT to have, you won’t have much appetite for what you OUGHT NOT. For all men, this begins by deliberately pursuing God with the idea in mind of finding your highest satisfaction in Him. If you are happier with an airbrushed picture of an exploited woman with no self-respect in slavery to her own depraved lusts over God – the problem is that God is not very attractive to you. And you KNOW He’s the most glorious and desirable of all things – so you need to begin to systematically drive at thrilling to His eternal beauties so that these fakes will hold no more attraction. Ask Him to fill your heart over and over with the magnitude, glory, wonder, marvel and stupendous excellency of His person, and especially of His love for you in Christ. Ask Him to change your appetite to crave the taste of Heaven’s glories more than anything on earth. Fill yourself up with His love and mercy and wonder in His Word. And if you’re still not full – go back. Over and over and over until you can contain no more. And for those who are married – add to this the pursuit of delighting yourself more and more and more with the wife He has given to you. “Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth, a lovely deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts fill you at all times with delight; be intoxicated always in her love. Why should you be intoxicated, my son, with a forbidden woman and embrace the bosom of an adulteress? For a man’s ways are before the eyes of the LORD, and he ponders all his paths. The iniquities of the wicked ensnare him, and he is held fast in the cords of his sin. He dies for lack of discipline, and because of his great folly he is led astray. (Prov. 5:18-23) Mortifying this deed of the flesh isn’t done by fasting, but by feasting – on the good things He has provided and is.

Don’t give up brother or sister. God brought us out of Egypt, that we might go up and take the land. The territory of our souls has been delivered over. Rooting out the inhabitants by chasing down indwelling sin is the task. The Word is our guide, the Cross our guarantee, the Spirit our power, the promise of God our assurance and Christ our Captain, who has gone this way before us, and bids us come and follow Him.

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3 thoughts on “SEXUAL BONDAGE

  1. You’re kinda crazy. Actually a lot crazy. You need help. Religion is a mental illness.
    Just FYI. 😀 I really mean this in all friendliness and sincerity. I hope you find the true path within. Observe the world around you, use your common sense. You’ll find that the way we treat others is what matters.
    Don’t have time to go on.
    I wish you well.

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