Its not what I expected. And it is not what I want. But it appears that I have my limits after all.
After months of escalating and debilitating fatigue – after tests upon tests upon tests from my Dr. – the diagnosis is in: Seriously pooped.
No doubt you’ve noticed (or perhaps you haven’t) the drastic drop off in my being able to post. Two of my great loves, preaching and writing, at this juncture are beyond my ability to indulge in without severe consequences afterward – requiring days just to be able to function at a low level again.
Sounds like the problem of a weenie. It’s not me. I don’t like it and I don’t want it. Give me a serious disease, something I can sink my teeth into: Leprosy of the lung or the creeping ephizutti. SOMETHING!
But as I mentioned above, after running all the tests, (heart, blood, lungs, endoscopies, colonoscopies, yada, yada, yada) the results of Celiac, Barrett’s disease and who knows what else with just having the bow bent too far for too long – his expert medical opinion is I’m seriously pooped. Enough that if there is no break, something’s gonna give. Guess I have to turn in my S, the red cape and the blue tights. I never looked good in the tights anyway. NO COMMENTS!
And in an overwhelming show of love and compassion, the congregation at ECF has made it possible. I do not how to be grateful enough for their willingness and that of the Corporate Board and the Elders to arrange it all.
So I’ll be on this break – against my will but wanting to do what it takes to get fully well so I can labor freely once again – until Aug. 15.
And it is making me seriously uncomfortable. Antsy. Thus it appears that while I can formulate a sound theology of “rest’ – I cannot yet abide by it emotionally. As issue of personal sanctification to be worked out in the process.
But as I rest, and study, and nourish my own soul, I’ll be posting along the way. Some. No promises. Missing the joy of it. But indulging as much as I can without jeopardizing getting back on both feet.
Keep tuning in.